You gain nothing in doubting. Not a thing. Believe in yourself. Always. Forever. That’s the only way forward. Radical self-love and unwavering self-esteem.
Not every day has to count. Some days are for repairing, resting, mourning. You don't have to perform every day. Some days are for doing nothing. For sleeping all day or being on your phone. Relaxing is ok, allowed and encouraged. Do what you need to do.
don't talk to me you'll fall in love
“Be weird. Be random. Be who you are. Because you never know who would love the person you hide.”
— C.S. Lewis
there is no such thing as a small joy. like mary oliver said, joy is not made to be a crumb